It took less than two days of living under the same roof as my vile stepfather to get into an argument with him. The topic: The South Korean “Nut Rage”, which left the daughter of a Korean Airline’s chairman in national disgrace after she whined about macadamia nuts being served in a baggie instead of a bowl and caused a huge delay on her flight to Seoul, inconveniencing every other passenger on the plane. I thought the story was straight-up a case of the ugliness of nepotism and entitlement. Without reading the article, only skimming the headline, my stepfather started to argue with me that 1.) Nepotism was a good thing and necessary, and that I’d probably take a chance at it too if he became the president of Harvard and I wanted to work there 2.) There were standards that “help” had to meet, and that 3.) As a feminist, it was my duty to support this brat, because she’s a woman.

I explained why he was wrong on all fronts, cited some articles and news stories about how nepotism/family-run companies known as chaebols has bloated and stagnated the South Korean economy, and how I had absolutely no loyalty to an upper-class woman who treated working people and that my loyalty was to the flight attendant, regardless of gender.

He blew his top, called me a know-it-all, and then tried to shift the conversation by talking about the Taliban and demanding to know why it took me so long to finish college (really).

Conclusion: It doesn’t matter whether I’m 15 or 25, my stepfather is always going to be enraged and hysterical at the idea of a young woman knowing more about a topic than him and being unafraid to show it. The difference now is that he has no power over me.